Sunstroke is a dangerous thing. It strikes without warning. Symptoms include overheating, rapid heartbeat and breathing, muscle cramps, headaches, nausea, dizziness and confusion.
I've experienced it before. A few years ago, after spending half a day working in the open sun, I was overcome with dizziness and confusion. Once I got back indoors, my head wouldn't stop spinning. I forgot how to type, how to spell words. It was wild and took some time to overcome.
Today was a hot sunny day at Nelson Park -- the perfect conditions for midsummer baseball, and sunstroke.
Having been in Hamilton last night to observe and report on the Toronto Maple Leafs' destruction of the Cardinals, I rolled lazily into Burlington this afternoon. I parked and made straight for the beer tent.
As I sipped a Muskoka Cream Ale and soaked in some sun, a bunch of kids wearing yellow shirts was herded onto the field. The Burlington Skeeters little league squad or something like that. They ran out with the Burlington Bandits as each player was introduced. After the anthem, the Skeeters retired to a section of Nelson Park's seating area while the actual game began.
I downed the Cream Ale and began snapping photos as usual. The Bandits got some early hits and scored some early runs. I wandered behind the backstop, looking for good photographic angles.
The sun beat down. The Bandits scored some more. I paid scant attention, roaming over to the left field corner for some more photos. The sun beat down. I returned to the beer tent and tried a Muskoka Lager. Good stuff, easy on the palate.
Burlington seemed to have a lot of men on base every inning. I returned to the backstop as the relievers took over.
The Bandits suddenly rushed the field en masse for high fives. The Leafs returned to their bench with heads bowed. I looked at the scoreboard. The Bandits had somehow won the game 5-1. Seriously? What the hell happened?
The red mist fell and I rounded on the people closest to me. It was a bunch of Burlington Skeeter kids, standing nearby. All sense of propriety was abandoned at that moment. Like a lunatic, I blasted the kids with the fury of a thousand Jon Waltenbury ejections.
"WHAT?! This is BULLSHIT!" I roared.
A huge adult suddenly rounded the corner of the building behind the backstop. A big brother or coach. He was all muscle, his tank top straining from the massive bulk beneath. He was upon me immediately.
"Hey! What the hell is your problem? You want to say that to my face, asshole?"
Uh-oh.
There was no time to consider the situation, to formulate an appropriate apology.
I looked the behemoth right in the eye and said: "Dude, do you even lift?"
His head snapped back and his face took on a look of bafflement.
I shoved him with everything I had. He was top heavy with chicken legs, and he toppled like a month old Christmas tree. One of his flip flops went airborne, nearly slapping my face.
Bolting for the parking lot and not looking back, I dove into my vehicle and fired the engine. I threw it into drive and peeled out of there, just in time to see the behemoth in the rearview mirror, charging across the gravel parking lot in barefeet, tearing the souvenir programme I had left behind to shreds with his teeth. My God, steroids.
I drove home exercising excessive caution, then checked Pointstreak immediately. Turns out the Bandits won today, 5-1. And I had suffered a mild case of sunstroke.
Sorry Skeeters.
Game Recap:
The Burlington Bandits welcomed the Toronto Maple Leafs to Nelson Park this afternoon. Matthew St. Kitts and Adam Garner were the starting pitchers, and they each pitched a scoreless 1st inning.
In the bottom of the 2nd, Garner gave up three singles in a row to rightfielder Jeff MacLeod, DH Tyler Patzalek and leftfielder Dan Treccia. Catcher Robert Tavone then hit a sac fly to score MacLeod. Garner made it out of the inning after that, but the Bandits had a 1-0 lead.
The Bandits scored again in the bottom of the 3rd. Shortstop Jose Torralba walked and stole second, then scored on a groundout by third baseman Jim Martin. 2-0 Bandits.
Tavone doubled in the bottom of the 4th inning, then advanced to third on a single by first baseman David Marcus. Tavone scored on a fielder's choice that second baseman Brad Bedford hit into, and it was 3-0 Bandits after the 4th.
In the 6th inning the Bandits scored another run. Treccia led off with a single. Garner was relieved by Jake Hines, who gave up a double to Marcus that advanced Treccia to third. A single by Bedford brought Treccia home with a 4-0 Bandits lead.
The Bandits added to their lead in the 7th. MacLeod singled and was replaced by pinch runner Matt Mastantuono. Patzalek was hit by a pitch from Hines, then Tavone walked to load the bases. A single by Marcus brought Mastantuono in to score and it was 5-0 Bandits after the 7th.
While all this was going on, the Maple Leafs were shut down by St. Kitts. The Burlington starter gave up just 3 hits over 7 innings, striking out 5 and walking 2.
Ronald Stewardson took over for St. Kitts in the 8th and the Leafs momentarily came to life. DH Jon Waltenbury reached first base on an error, then leftfielder Raul Borjas was hit by a pitch. Damon Topolie singled to bring Waltenbury in and the score was 5-1 after the 8th.
Dylan Perego pitched a scoreless 9th for Burlington, getting the Leafs to hit three flyball outs, and the Bandits wrapped up a 5-1 win in exactly three hours.
Toronto 1-4-0
Burlington 5-13-4
W - St. Kitts (1-2)
L - Garner (1-2)
S - Perego (2)
BOXSCORE
The Maple Leafs fall to 13-14 on the season, 9.5 games behind the Barrie Baycats and down to a tie for 5th place with the Brantford Red Sox. These two teams face each other next, in a showdown at Christie Pits on Sunday, July 13.
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